


The Mistake

by MaraCaraCandyMenu



Category: Kirby (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Flashbacks, Genderless, Graphic description of damage in sexual organs, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Internal Monologue, Intersex, Other, POV First Person, Past Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Violence, Post-Kirby Star Allies, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sad with a Happy Ending, beta'ed by multiple people, comunication is important in these things, talks about mental health and consent, tecnically a hurt confort fic with explicit sexual themes, this is just weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-11-02 02:36:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20593058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaraCaraCandyMenu/pseuds/MaraCaraCandyMenu
Summary: The name describes how I feel about thisso yea a hurt/confort fic that has explicit sexual themes and references to past violence and trauma...with hyness point of view and morpho knightyou're free to murder me in my sleepplease read the warnings before reading, this is going to hurt





	The Mistake

_ “… This is a mistake.” _

_ “Huh? What do you mean?” _

Morpho’s den is both dark and yet not, but it’s really open, too much so for my comfort. They say to me “This is a safe space, no matter what, nobody will see us nor you will be able to see anyone”, but while the place is beautiful with the glowing flowers and the whole “the roof and the floor are different universes” thing is… impressive, there’s a sense of fear here, something watching me, while I’m just wearing a bathrobe and nothing else… At least in my room I had everything in sight in case of attacks, but this field… even though it is the afterlife… it could be anything…

_ “... Hyn? Sorry for repeating, but what do you mean by mistake?” _

Ah, they heard me… I should stop doing that. Can I tell them?

_ “Ah… sorry, I was just… thinking, like, if it's okay to be here just to do this, and… I don’t know, actually wanting to do it so with me…” _

_ “Well, you were the one with the idea…” _

Wait, I was? Ah heck true, this is my fault...

_ “… You told me you wanted to try it, but you couldn’t do it for yourself because of your claws and fear of being found out. And we are in my realm right now because I can be in my true form without the need to steal a body, which you also told me you didn’t like - plus, I have total control of this place! I can change things for your pleasing, like size and items!” _

You’re really mindful for a death god, Morpho, that answers a lot (which is dumb cause I knew it already yet I somehow forgot)…

We are here for me so I suppose it would be ungrateful to just say no suddenly, this is for me and I must enjoy it…

_ “So, I can ask things and you can make it happen?” _

_ “Right, what do you have in mind?” _

_ “I… would like a wall on the head of the bed, so I don’t fall of it, is that okay?” _

The thing that lives in my mirror would be ashamed of me - I could ask for anything! They would definitely ask for things such as big… uh, rods, many of them so they could put them inside their…

I really don’t want to say those words, why not? I’m an adult, I can say those words! I must! I’m about to do… that! Hecking dang it stop being a coward Hyness…

At least the wall exists now, that helps with the prey instinct… I still feel exposed with this bathrobe and the fields in my view, but at least I won’t get attacked from behind if I stay near it… also not falling down, that was my excuse.

_ “Is there anything else before we start? Do you have some size preference or any texture that you like?” _

_ “Ah? U-um… you know this is my first, right? I-I don’t k-know about… those… words.” _

MORPHO YOU TOLD ME YOU HAVEN’T DONE THIS BEFORE EITHER! WHERE DOES THIS COME FROM? YOU ARE GIVING ME WEIRD FEELINGS!

_ “Ah! Sorry! I did some research about this so this could be comfortable for you! I suppose I forgot you don’t have much knowledge on sex and pleasure because of your upbringing…” _

THE WORD, YOU SAID IT, WHY-- DON’T-- LIKE YEA WE ARE DOING…  _ THAT _ , BUT DON’T--

_ “Anyway, just in case, I have some lube ready. I read that first times can be painful if the person isn’t completely lubed up and I don’t want you to feel pain, is that okay?” _

_ “… You really did your homework for… this…” _

_ “I want to help you.” _

I just want to scream, change this thought process to some screaming and it will fit.

You’re really mindful Morpho…  _ whyyyyy? _

_ “So, it’s time to undress - unless you don’t feel ready to start yet, or want some foreplay first. As you can see, I’m already undressed so it’s your choice.” _

YEA THE BATHROBE, the bathrobe, it feels uncomfortable. I can feel the slight movements of the cloth touching the tips of my… chest, and it just feels… weird, those tips are getting harder and I wish they would stop that, and my… lower parts, it feels cold, is there wind here? I can’t see any yet it just feels like a breeze and again, my body is reacting and I don’t like that...

But that’s normal for the body to react right? Like, I’m going to do this… thing… and for the body to act like this is good news right, I’m just being dumb this is not weird this has to happen, who cares if I don’t like it or not, Morpho is being so mindful and generous and I need to stop being selfish and just do it--

_ “Morpho, if it’s okay, would you undress me?” _

They are giving me too many things, I need to repay it somehow, be the one in charge and do what you like--

This is okay, I am okay.

Their paws are soft... I haven’t been touched in, what? Centuries? And yet, that softness, it feels like I missed it so much; it was just a light touch on my neck but I… want more, I could tell them that, but… I’m asking too much. I feel the upper half of the bathrobe sliding down, exposing my chest, open to view, to touch, to play… I don’t know how to feel about this, they did it slowly like it was a treasure worthy of exposing but… they aren’t big? They are what they are, definitely a chest made for feeding offspring, those are appreciated a lot, but they aren’t that big or bouncy, which I guess that’s part of the appeal but still… does Morpho like that? I don’t know, but they should enjoy this too, after all they did, I can feel the points of my chest enjoying it at least… or are they cold? I don’t know.

Morpho keeps going on, untying so the lower part of the bathrobe slips off and throwing it away, a bit too far for my comfort. I’m fully naked now, there’s no going back. I feel their paws touching my inner thighs, taking a look at my… lower half, the true example of what I used to know as a “cursed body”. I know now that I am intersex, and I’m not the only one like that, but still, there’s a sense of fear from exposing such... delicate parts, parts of such thin skin and so sensitive, that even looking at it the wrong way may harm it. (And I have claws, sharp ones. I’ve never touched that part of me, and I’m not going to do it soon, or ever.)

The sorry excuse of a male member that I have stays hidden between the lips of the female one, too small for actual use yet too big to hide properly in shame, making the lips stay partially open. Morpho knows it, I can feel their paws making space to see how it actually looks inside, and the touch, the need to close my legs shut is tempting, but this must be done…

_ “Is your vagina smaller than normal because of you being intersex?” _

… Morpho, how the heck do I answer that, I do not see other… holes… and compare their sizes to mine!

_ “… I don’t know?” _

_ “I’ll keep it in mind, going to see how much it can handle and then make the penis fit those limits.” _

Oh lord Morpho I just want to scream why are you doing this why are you saying that-- wait, what do you mean by “see how much it can handle”?

Wait no now you are touching my butt...okay I guess...I don’t think you should touch the hole in there but you’re already giving me so much so I suppose I shouldn’t be limiting your curiosity...

_ “How does this feel?” _

_ “How does it feel what? … Wait--” _

They are grabbing my tail, I…couldn’t tell until actually seeing it with my eyes… huh.

_ “You told me your tail was cut off in a really painful way; do you feel any sensitivity or pain in it?” _

_ “I… do not, actually, I don’t feel anything… I didn’t notice you were touching my tail ‘til I saw it...” _

_ “So, all the nerves are dead here, got it… you should see a doctor about this.” _

I have never met a doctor in my life but thanks for the thought, like always, but I wish you didn’t remind me of him...

Wait heck, him, he’s dead, right, and I’m in the afterlife, he is somewhere here, right? Wait no, this is dumb, I should calm down, Morpho controls the dead and I doubt they’ll bring him here, at my most vulnerable. I should stop being dumb, calm down, and do the thing with Morpho, because that’s what I want, to do it, to do the… thing, to do the s… ssss…. Heck! You need to say it someday, Hyness, you cannot go on living using innuendo all your life!

_ “I think I saw everything I needed to see, I suppose it’s time for you to get comfortable so we can start.” _

Getting comfortable, somehow, that phrase sounds off; it’s just paranoia I guess, but it’s hard to feel comfortable when your body itself feels uncomfortable... But do it for Morpho, they are doing so much work just to make this first time special, the least you could do is be appealing and fun to play with.

Because that’s what the thing in the mirror tells you, you’re better as a thing, and this event requires you to be a thing now, not overthinking everything, just go with the flow and let Morpho win something in return. They say they are doing this all for you, but there must be a catch somewhere - they must want something too, you wouldn’t do that much work if you didn’t get something back, and this thing is really pleasurable, you know, thanks to him...

You’re thinking of him again, stop it, get comfortable, go on--

Lying in bed makes you feel stable, a pillow under your head for more comfort, so you battle the need to cover your chest by hugging your stomach hard, making the arms squish the chest so it looks bigger and bouncy and pointy and hopefully Morpho will appreciate it, and then open your legs. Thinking of the touch that was given to you makes your lower parts react already, and that is a good thing - you must remember, let yourself flow, the small rod you have isn’t hiding anymore, but it really needs to be stimulated if it wants to look joyous and like an actual male member deserving of respect. I suppose that is all that’s needed…

_ “Is this position okay?” _

_ Are you comfortable?” _

_ “… Yes?” _

_ “Then it’s alright. Where would you like to start with the foreplay? I mean like, touched, petted, massaged, sucked--” _

_ “YEA I KNOW I KNOW LET ME THINK--” _

I want to be petted again along the neck… oh, petted on the ears! It’s been centuries! But I suppose Morpho would like to start with something more pleasing, like my chest… but then again I’ll get petted on the head… I’m sorry thing-that-appears-in-the-mirror-when-I-feel-horrible, but I have a need…

_ “If it’s not… weird, I would like to be… petted and just… touched. On my ears and my neck, if you want - of course, you can do anything you want after it but… I like to be petted…” _

_ “Then that’s what I’ll do first, anything else?” _

_ “No… you’re free to do whatever you want on the way.” _

_ “Are you sure? I’m doing this for you--” _

_ “YES, I mean, yes, I’m sure, like, you researched a lot so I suppose you know what to do? Again, I don’t know about these things...” _

_ “… If that’s what you want, then so be it...” _

_ “Yea… you’re free to go on.” _

And they are climbing over me, of course, but they are small so if personal space needs to be sacrificed, well, this act already sacrifices personal space, but having another body over you when both of you are naked is making my danger senses go wild.

But they shouldn’t, you willingly entered here, your body is being dumb by remembering him and his stuff and STOP IT WITH HIM, HE ISN’T HERE THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS THINK HAPPY-- Oh, oh lord… my ears… this feels…  _ good. _

Their soft paws are now massaging my ears and it feels… I don’t have words. I needed this, their fingers slowly going from the base to the tips and just giving them a squish and some circling motions and lord please I love it…

_ “You like that, don’t you?” _

Juh! Ah... wait, I’m purring right? Wait no, I’m more than purring… oh lord this is good, but my body is reacting, this is embarrassing… no, that is supposed to happen, I’m doing this, the wetness is good, the hardness is good, I’m just being dumb, I just need to relax…

_ “There, there… you’re doing good…” _

AH AGAIN MORPHO I CAN’T FOCUS ON THE PETTING IF YOU KEEP SAYING THAT, like I suppose thank you... I don’t know what I’m doing good, I’m just trying to relax, but you make me lose focus with your choice of words! It doesn’t feel genuine you know? Except you don’t know ‘cause I’m not talking to you, but I suppose I’ll just close my eyes and ignore your words while I try to focus on the pets and pets only. I feel your paws lowering from the ears to my neck and ah, I felt chills in my spine, it’s so good, let me purr in peace...

Ah… so good, nhg I needed this, I missed this. It sounds so pathetic to feel emotional with being touched on your neck softly, like a massage, but I feel like I missed this all my life. I don’t want to stop, I don’t care for the reaction it has on my body or the moan-purr-mess I’m doing, I can’t even hear what Morpho is saying but I don’t want this to stop, if this is all the act, I’ll be happy.

And I feel their paws going lower to my chest...

And that chill didn’t feel as pleasing.

But they were so good with my ears and neck I suppose if I tune out it will feel the same; like, I can already feel that my body loves it, including the points in my chest but...

I feel there’s something wrong in it.

They are doing their magic, and I can feel it, touching, pulling, squishing, massaging, that's what is done right, but why I do feel a brew of bitterness?

_ “You like that?  _ ** _You fucking slut._ ** _ ” _

… That’s not Morphos voice - Morpho wouldn’t say that, would they? Where I am, it’s so dark, I can’t move, was I tied up? W-where…? Morpho? Where are you? What’s going on?

_ “ _ ** _Be grateful I pay you any attention, your tits are pathetic, I can’t tit-fuck them, but tits are tits._ ** _ ” _

… You are dead, I killed you, I ripped your face off with my own hands and burned your remains, how are you here...

_ “ _ ** _Open your legs bitch, I need a hole to fuck hard!_ ** _ ” _

… I am in the afterlife, Morpho did this, this was a trap, right? This was a revenge act because I broke the rules of the circle of life, right? They trapped me here with you, right?

I can’t move, where is the air, there’s no air, Morpho, please save me, stop this--

_ “ _ ** _I will fuck you so hard I'll rip your pussy inside out!_ ** _ ” _

STOP THIS

HELPMEHELPMEHELPMEHELPMEHEPMHEEHS

_ “Hyness? Is everything alright?” _

MORPHO

Wait what--

You’re by my legs now how?

_ “You’re breathing heavily, is everything alright?” _

Wait, was that a nightmare?

I wasn’t sleeping! Was I? Oh no nonononono Morpho did a lot for me and this is how I act? I’m stupid, selfish and stupid, thinking I was kidnapped by him again. He is dead, he is not here, and this, that Morpho worked hard on, must continue--

_ “Hyness…?” _

_ “YES, I mean, I’m okay! Yes, I just… I was excited… you know? This… this is new and I… was excited to feel this…” _

_ “… But I didn’t start yet. You aren’t lubed enough for insertion so I wanted to ask you if it's okay for me to finger you first, so I could lube you and see what you can handle, if it's okay, but you were breathing heavily, so…” _

Oh, that was the testing they meant earlier, finger me… put a finger inside… there? Ah… that… I don’t think I like the idea, but… Morpho, I’m so close to actually doing this, for me, for Morpho, and I’ll be good and I won’t be weird again...

_ “It’s okay, you can go on.” _

_ “… I suppose. I’ll be careful, don’t worry.” _

I’m not worried, do I look worried? I’m not, Morpho go on you know what you are doing, I can feel your wet fingers massaging inside the lips already, that’s good I guess. I suppose it feels good, I’m not scared...

_ “I’m entering now, does it hurt?” _

_ “No, it doesn’t.” _

IT DOES, A LOT, HOW, IS IT SO SMALL WHY DOES MY HOLE NOT ACCEPT SOMETHING THAT SMALL

The-thing-that-looks-like-me-and-appears-in-my-mirror-every-time-I-feel-disgusting must be laughing now, this is pathetic, that thing can put something bigger than this inside their hole and I suffer trying to let a small thin finger inside? I can’t tell Morpho this, it will ruin it, just - close your eyes and think happy thoughts until it’s over or until it becomes good, I can do it! You can go on Morpho I can handle this!

_ “Huh, interesting... Hey Hyn, did you know you have some stripes or folds or… something in the walls of your vagina? Like, I can feel it from the entrance and they just, continue…” _

… Stripes?

_ “Morpho… what do you mean?” _

_ “Well, I feel lines, some are like bumps but in the shape of a line, while others are like wounds… Can you feel them? They are inside you, I’m passing my finger over some of them.” _

The pain of the insertion made me not notice that but now that I focus… huh…

_ “Some are short while others seem longer than I can get to. Is this part of your biology? It’s so weird and they feel really random.” _

_ “…” _

_ “… Sorry if I’m offending, this is just really curious - do they feel good when touched? I suppose they are there for pleasure…” _

_ “…” _

_ “Hyness…? Is everything alright? Is everything okay?” _

_ “... it’s his fault.” _

_ “Huh?” _

He did this, he left them there, he said he would leave his mark, and I tried to clean them out, his bites, his claws, even his flavor, but of course, I forgot, his thing, that barbed thing... I healed the scars it left on my tongue but I forgot that’s not the only place that thing was in...

He did rip me inside out.

And those scars never healed.

That means, my anus and my throat have those scars too?

And they are so obvious yet I never noticed.

… Now what I can do?

No matter what, he will still follow me, he ruined me forever this way.

How I can be normal after this?

_ “Hyness? You’re crying, did I hurt you? Who is at fault?” _

_ “Morpho, just… go on, keep adding fingers.” _

_ “You know we can stop if you want--” _

_ “I SAY GO ON, IGNORE ME, GO ON!” _

_ “…” _

_ “… Please… just… go on, don’t mind me…” _

_ “… Hyness…” _

They removed their finger-- why, you told me you will do what I want, why now won’t you hear me when I want you to go on?!?!?

_ “… Hyness, I won’t do anything that makes you feel pain or discomfort. I want you to enjoy the experience; you wanting me to go on even though I see you are not enjoying the experience is against the reason why I accepted and researched this to have sex with you…” _

_ “…” _

_ “Tell me, please, what is causing you distress, and why do you want me to go on?” _

_ “…” _

_ “… Please, I’m worried.” _

_ “… Sorry for worrying you… I wanted to feel normal…” _

_ “… And how will forcing you into distress make you feel normal?” _

_ “…” _

I’m sorry Morpho, for ruining everything, and not having an answer...

* * *

…

This silence is overwhelming…

_ “… Hey, Hyn, do you want to tell me? Or do you want to lay down a bit and cry your feelings out? I am here if you need me, but I can leave you alone too…” _

… I don’t deserve you Morpho, after all I did, and all our fights, you keep being so mindful, why?

_ “… I’m sorry Morpho, for this, I ruined everything…” _

_ “… You didn’t, I’m sorry I forced you to have sex when you weren’t ready…” _

_ “BUT I WAS THE ONE, I ASKED, I mean, I started all this and you went above and beyond to help me for this first time… Which isn’t actually a first time. I’m sorry for lying, you seemed excited and I wanted you to enjoy it too, and well, it’s normal for one to like this act, and I suppose, if I enjoyed this one, I’d be normal and you’ll be pleased and I wouldn’t be just a worthless toy and… there is a lot of things, I’m so sorry again…” _

_ “Let’s go slow for each part, okay? You’re free to tell me anything you want, so if you don’t want to answer, it’s okay. So first, I tell you, it’s normal to say “I don’t like this” even though you were the one who started. You shouldn’t be forced to continue just for the sake of keeping your word, this is a delicate act that needs communication and mutual trust - without it, it won’t be enjoyable nor fun. Is that okay Hyn? Tell me if you need help to understand anything.” _

_ “I… understand… I just wanted for you to enjoy it even though I didn’t feel that good…” _

_ “Hey, Hyn, I’m a death god, I don’t need sex to thrive. I’m physically sexless even, and even then, this is not something just for one person - it’s okay to tell your partner that you don’t feel good doing this. There must be communication and compromise, it’s not healthy to be all give and all take you know? Please remember, for you, your health is top priority and nobody should tell you otherwise…” _

_ “… I really don’t deserve you, you know that?” _

_ “Well, if you think like that, I am the one that doesn’t deserve you - you’re much more powerful than me and I’m a god! Heh… so that is clear right?” _

_ “I suppose…” _

_ “Well, I want to ask some questions now, if it's ok with you. You said you lied to me? May you explain how?” _

_ “Juh… I suppose I must… you remember him, right?” _

_ “He that cut your tail? Yes…” _

_ “Yea… he… forced me, many times… many ways, and that’s why there were stripes inside… me… It makes sense, right?” _

_ “Ah… that makes sense… sorry I… made you relive that experience--” _

_ “NO no no, it’s okay, you didn’t know, I should have been honest but… what you described with this act and what he did… they weren’t the same, so this was a first… in a way. I thought that if I could handle it, I wouldn’t be… a mess, that I could deal with it… but that didn’t work… and I just feel those stripe scars say that… I’m broken… and that I could never be normal again…” _

_ “Stripe scars? They were scars? How?” _

_ “His… member, it was big and covered with spurs, it… hurt a lot, ripping me from inside…” _

_ “… Hyness… you really should visit a doctor for your health, both physically and emotionally. You shouldn’t think you are broken because of this; after all, didn’t you learn you were intersex recently? There’s a lot you haven’t learned or experienced, and I’m sure with the help of professionals, everything will be better. Tell the mages, I can help you even. You really need to get yourself checked, for your health… The point is, you are not broken, you’re just in trauma, and even then, not liking sex doesn’t make you broken…” _

_ “But… wouldn’t it be a waste?” _

_ “Excuse me?” _

_ “… My body, it can be attractive to some people because of its characteristics, wouldn’t it be a waste to never use it?” _

_ “You’re not just a body Hyness, who told you that?” _

_ “… Sometimes in the mirror I see a thing that looks like me but more… sexualized - I have no other option but to say that word - anyway, this thing just tells me that I suck at being a living being and a someone, and that I should give up and be something, like a toy or something.” _

_ “Did you tell anyone about this?” _

_ “No.” _

_ “Then, when we go to the doctor, I’ll remind you to tell them that, okay? Because that seems serious and while I’m not someone that can tell you what to do and what not... the best I can offer is for you to ignore it. But that’s hard, I guess?” _

_ “It is…” _

_ “… I’m thankful that you were willing to open up at least to me, we knew each other for quite a long time. Even if we have our conflicts, I care about you, and I want you to flourish... Heh, flower pun.” _

_ “That was lame.” _

_ “It was amazing and you are jealous ‘cause you cannot do wordplay.” _

_ “Try me then.” _

… I feel lighter in a way, just making jokes and being comfortable in our space while naked, in the underworld… huh.

_ “Hey Morpho… so the… sex was a bust, now what?” _

Heck yeah I said it!

_ “Do you want your bathrobe and to go back home? Time doesn’t pass here, I really don’t have any other ideas either…” _

_ “… I actually want to stay here a bit more - well, yes I want my bathrobe back, but at the same time... I did like the part when you pet me, is it too much to ask more of that?” _

_ “… Is naked cuddling okay?” _

_ “… Yea, I didn’t try that before, but bring my bathrobe closer just in case I don’t like it as much.” _

Well… with the petting and the hugging and their godly soft paws on my head and the knowledge I was next to someone I could trust… I did like that experience a bit.


End file.
